REINCARNATION - IS THAT YOU PAT?

Well Miss Ninja Bear Tedi, since you brought up the reincarnation thing and how you don’t believe me when I said that you don’t necessarily hold your gender when you are reincarnated……..I thought google could help and low and behold wahlah!.......I found the answer on askmoses.com!!!!. Who knew that in between writing the 15 commandments (he dropped one of the tablets) that he would have time to answer shtewpid questions. http://www.askmoses.com/en/article/614,2056954/When-one-is-reincarnated-do-they-always-come-back-as-the-same-gender.html.

Dina: I have a question about reincarnation. are you familiar with this subject?
Rabbi Eliezer Gurkow: a little
Dina: when one dies, do they only come back as the same gender?
Rabbi Eliezer Gurkow: ordinarily a male is reincarnated as a male and a female is reincarnated as a female
Rabbi Eliezer Gurkow: there are times when the opposite occurs, but that is very rare
Rabbi Eliezer Gurkow: there are times when a human soul is reincarnated into an animal or plant but that is also rare
Rabbi Eliezer Gurkow: and very uncomfortable for the soul
Dina: so it can happen?
Dina: so, how does one know if a male is reincarnated into a female?
Rabbi Eliezer Gurkow: this is not something the ordinary person would know ………OKAY, STOP THE PRESSES. SHARON IS NO ORDINARY PERSON. SHE WOULD KNOW.

Sharon “The World of Knowledge” Woolard: Perhaps I can answer this Dina since the Rabbi doesn’t have a shitclue.
If a male is reincarnated into a female, she would know that she was a man in a previous life because she would always be LOOKING FOR A DINGUS THAT ISN’T THERE! She would always have a fascination with her crotch but have no idea why. She would also refuse to ask for directions if she were lost and always know how to fold a map. She would have an inclination to ask for a woman’s phone number but yet not really want it. She would never be completely happy with one woman and always have the perverted desire to sleep with 2…at the same time. She would also get much joy out of hearing various body parts expel gas. She would not wash her hands after using the bathroom. She would now be able to multi-task and have a mental and emotional capacity that did not equal a moose but most of all she will wonder why she is paid less for doing the same job she did in her previous life. OH now that was good!!!!

Oh and the part about a human reincarnated into an animal being uncomfortable for the soul. My as*!!! A human man would love to be able to come back as a dog and be able to lick their own dingus all day long.

I am so glad that I am not Yiddish otherwise I would have to actually believe what Rabbi Gurkow says.

There ya have it…….just ask, all ya got to do is ask.